Cooking for others is a great way to draw love and friendship into your life.
But what if you can’t cook?
No worries. Here’s ten tips for faking it in the kitchen.
1. Throw a frozen pizza in the oven. Heating something up is almost like
cooking. (Try PC’s Blue Menu Goat Cheese and Veg.) Add a fresh salad of
pre-washed greens with quality storebought dressing, it’s a two course feast.
2. Dress for success. A pretty apron will always create the illusion that
cooking has been done even if you’re ordering Chinese. Be sure to decant your
take-out onto real dishes. Eating off styrofoam or paper tells people you’re not
a real cook.
3. Pretend your stove isn’t working and your landlord won’t fix it. Eventually
the truth with out, but at least it’ll buy you some time to enroll in a cooking
class.
4. Fresh pasta + jarred gourmet sauce = you’re a great cook! (Source out a good
gourmet food store in your hood. Sometimes you can find complete French meals
including canned fois gras and jarred veal ragout. Heat, assemble, serve. That’s
cooking.)
5. Display a set of beautiful cookbooks in your kitchen or clip a recipe onto
your fridge. If someone notices, say it’s something you’ve been meaning to make.
Intending to cook is almost as good as actually cooking.
6. Set the table. You may be serving KD, but attractive dishware, candles,
flowers and homemade place cards go along way to elevating the repas.
7. Add one fresh ingredient to something pre-prepared, a chopped red pepper or
some fresh herbs. (Just be careful not to cut yourself. Slicing off a fingertip
usually tells guests you’re not a real cook.)
8. Be a master baker with a roll of Pilsbury chocolate chip cookie dough. Slap
on a pair of pretty oven mits while you take the cookie sheet out of the oven
and you’re practically Martha Stewart.
9. Kitchen utensils such as a nice cutting board, a pair of stainless steel
tongs, set of mixing bowls, spice rack, and a few good pots say you’re in the
kitchen zone even if you’re not. Even better, if your boyfriend turns out to be
the real chef, you’ll have everything he needs to cook his way into your
heart.
10. Having food in the house, no matter what it is, implies you can cook. Jar
of olives or antipasto. Processed cheese. Tin of smoked oysters. Crackers.
Non-perishable pantry food means you’ll always have something on hand for
hungry friends and unexpected boys you like. (Pantry food also comes in handy
for the days when you’re snowed in or in the middle of zombie apocalypse.)
Caution: Sometimes in the faking process a change happens and you become a real
cook. So be prepared. Soon the just-for-show cookbooks will be regular reading
material.