Sometimes infidelity can sneak up on you. It can arrive in the most innocent of packages, like a bag of  potato chips with your cock’s name on it. Such was the case the other night when Brent, my temporary roomie, showed up with a bag of chips. Dropping them on the table he says,  “These are for Cesar. From Georgia.”  


Georgia, my best galpal in Montreal, and Brent, my best boypal, work together on an American film  (“Beastly”) being shot in town, and the crafts food service that day involved a motherload of snack-sized Lays.

“I don’t get it,” I tell Brent. “What’s Gigi giving my boyfriend a bag of chips for? “For his lunch,” Brent says matter of factly.

The conspiracy deepens when I notice, on the bag, in very meticulous writing, an inscription: “To Cesar.  From Georgia.” Okay, no heart, or x’s or o’s, but still pretty darn intimate. “Lays… “ Even the name spoke of illicit acts.


When I confront Georgia about the Lays, she tells me that she didn’t write the inscription on the bag,  Brent did, as a joke. I scrutinize the letters and confirm. Yes, it’s his writing. The conspiracy lessens.  Then I ask her why she didn’t give me a bag of chips too. Didn’t I deserve a free bag too? Georgia  fumbles on this, “Well, Cesar has to go to work every day, you don’t… ”  This makes no sense to me.  “What– I freelance from home, so I don’t deserve a bag of potato chips?” Georgia shrugs, as though it’s self explanatory.   And okay, sure, I admit, somewhere deep down, I’m glad that my French Cock has found a place in my friends hearts and minds. I decide to let Georgia off the hook. What else can I do? It’s a bag of chips, not a pair of panties.

Still,  the next morning, I can’t help but notice the dreamy smile on my French cock’s face as he carefully packs the bag of chips in his knapsack (along with the healthy lunch I made him.)  He was looking forward to those Lays,  like a secret triste.

Let this story be a lesson for the single gourmand. Sometimes the way to man’s heart is through a bag of potato chips.

Georgia: I'll be keeping my eye on her.

Georgia: I'll be keeping my eye on her.

Lover’s Lunch Treat

1 Bag of Lays

Serve bagged. With your lover’s name on it.

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