The other night I was talking to Allyson, a law student from Toronto, about the Cooking For Cock blog. Like any good lawyer in training, she was full of questions. Her biggest issue had to do with budget. Why cook for cock when cock can take you out for dinner ? It’s a recession, she argued, plus she hates cooking.

 

Here’s my take: If you cook for cock, the cock will take you out for even more fancy dinners and ovepriced cocktails. The bonus? You avoid feeling “kept”  and he’ll avoid the feeling of being used. And believe me,  there are many cocks out there who don’t relish reaching for their wallet as you sit there smiling prettily.  Money and sex are serious rivals, and you can’t always bank on the latter to win the day especially in a recession. (Even the F.C., though romantic, likes to keep an eye on his cash flow.)
In the end a guy that’s looking for a serious relationship wants to know you’re willing to give too.  That’s the theory anyway.  That said, I’m glad to know there are guys out there willing to foot the bill for a lady.


I dedicate the following recipe to Allyson.    

    
       

 

“Cheap and Easy” Pork Chops with Lemon

 

 

porkchop

       

 

This “cock-pleasing” pork chop recipe was given to me by the trampy former roommate who stole my shoes (I ransacked her bedroom and found them hidden under her mattress.) Hate the girl, love the recipe. The pork gives you the panache of meat without the price tag – each chop should cost you just under 2 bucks. To upgrade the dish, or if you’re feeling flush, go for a veal chop done the same way.

 

 

 

Ingredients

 

2 pork loin Chops (with bone in, 3/4 inch thick–ish)
juice from one lemon
2 tablespoons olive oil
Salt and pepper
1 teaspoon oregano or sage or mixed Italian spice
two cloves garlic, chopped

 

Preparation

 

Mix the marinade ingredients in small bowl, then add the chops. Let marinate for fifteen minutes up to an hour.

 

Pre-heat oven to 375 degrees.

 

Heat oven proof skillet on medium-high heat. Sear pork chops on each side (2-3 minutes per side) then place in hot oven for 5 minutes, or until pork is cooked, but not dry.

 

Serve with boiled baby potatoes tossed in butter, salt and pepper and steamed asperagus drizzled in olive oil (if asparagus seems too price for the season, try steamed carrots in butter and curry (that’s how the slutty roommate served hers.)

 

I also make this dish on my barbeque (about 4 min per side, which may be too little for the bacteria-cautious, but I’d rather risk food poisoning than overcook my meat), I also grill the asparagus (just a minute or two) instead of steaming.

2 Responses to “Reciprocating For Cock”

  1. anonymous Says:

    I used to cook for cock. I was The Cock Cooker. I would make my boys breakfast, cook them dinner, snacks in bed, you name it. But its been such a long time since I’ve met any quality cock, I’ve gone on strike. No more brekkie for one night stands. No more 2nd date dinners at my house. These cocks need to really work for it if they want my cooking. So until I meet a man worthy of my kitchen magic, they’re taking me out to eat. I feel like withholding cooking is like withholding homebase 20 years ago. Its the new abstinence!

  2. laura Says:

    Yes, it’s true, there’s lots of bad cock out there.
    But maybe cooking for cock is a good litmus test?
    The ones who really want love in their life will appreciate it, the
    ones who don’t are assholes who only want to take you out to dinner so they can dump you later without feeling guilty.
    Either way, I’m just impressed guys are actually footing the bill for you (so much for the recession.)
    But please don’t stop cooking! Per the cfc philosophy, cooking is about having the power to please yourself too. So don’t let the “for cock” part put you off. In my universe, chicks have dicks too, metaphorically speaking and… sometimes not.
    And feel free to share your “kitchen magic” with this website. Sounds like you’re an awesome cook and I’m always looking for good recipes (and opinionated guest bloggers.)

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