Ingredients

2 pork loin Chops (with bone in, 3/4 inch thick–ish)
juice from one lemon
2 tablespoons olive oil
Salt and pepper
1 teaspoon oregano or sage or mixed Italian spice
two cloves garlic, chopped

Preparation

Mix the marinade ingredients in small bowl, then add the chops. Let marinate for fifteen minutes up to an hour.

Pre-heat oven to 375 degrees.

Heat oven proof skillet on medium-high heat. Sear pork chops on each side (2-3 minutes per side) then place in hot oven for 5 minutes, or until pork is cooked, but not dry.

Serve with boiled baby potatoes tossed in butter, salt and pepper and steamed asperagus drizzled in olive oil (if asparagus seems too price for the season, try steamed carrots in butter and curry (that’s how the slutty roommate served hers.)

I also make this dish on my barbeque (about 4 min per side, which may be too little for the bacteria-cautious, but I’d rather risk food poisoning than overcook my meat), I also grill the asparagus (just a minute or two) instead of steaming.

I love scouring the internet for recipes.  (It’s like looking at cute guys in a bar. I wonder what’s he’s like. And him. And yeah, that guy looks pretty yummy too. ) But something’s starting to piss me off.

The other day I’m looking for a recipe that has scallops and pasta in it.  Finally I find a promising recipe on a grouprecipes.com. Excited I scroll down for the comments to see if anyone else dug it besides the cook posting. Here’s what I get.

“Looks  yummy.” — Susie Stupid
“Awesome recipe. Will def try it.”  — Bill the Pill
“This is for dinner tonight! Thanks.” — Boring Betty
(Note: I’ve changed the names to protect the innocent.)

I keep scrolling down the list of comments and it’s more of the same meaningless props.  “A must-try.”  “Thanks for sharing.”  And even those who said they’d try it never re-posted with the results, which can only mean one thing:  They’re big fat liars!

Maybe it’s because they’re afraid of getting payback for negative feedback on one of their recipes, or worse, being one-upped.  Well I say grow a pair of blogging balls. Just like with boy-watching, sometimes you got to stop looking and start shagging!

That said, at least I had the balls to actually make the pasta dish and WOW! Did it ever deliver!!!   It was like crack, once I tried it  I needed to make it again immediately. My French cock lapped it up like a golden lab,   and so did my girlfirends (Louisa and Georgia)  for whom I made it for the following week. It’s going to be a new staple for me, that’s for sure.

Here’s the recipe, with special thanks to the chick (identified as simply “Linebb956”) who posted it.

Scandalous Scallops In A Creamy Tomato Sauce

The recipe has a few extra steps in it that make it more involved (blanching and peeling the tomatos first, separating the sauce) but it’s soooo worth it. The choice of shell pasta (something I never use) is perfect too.

I reduced the cream and butter, per the cfc philosophy, with no loss of flavour.

Ingredients

1 gallon boiling water

1/ 1/2 pounds bay scallops (I used a .. bag of frozen, thawing and rinsing them first)

1 tablespoon butter

3 medium tomatoes

1/2 cup dry white wine

4 tablespoons minced shallots (I used leeks the first time, shallots are awesome too.)

3 tablespoon chives 

1 teaspoon minced garlic

1/2 chopped red bell pepper

1/4 cup shredded fresh basil

1/4 – 1/2  cup heavy cream (the original called for a whole cup, which I found unnecessary)

4 cups cooked pasta shells

salt and pepper to taste.

Directions 

1. Plunge the tomatoes into the water for 20 to 30 seconds or until the skin just begins to show a tiny split or two.

2. Remove and let cool for a second or two. 

3. Peel the tomato under running water.

4. Slice into halves and gently squeeze the tomato to force out the seeds.

5. Chop the tomato quickly into a glass bowl until ready for use. (Glass is for the acid, it won’t react with glass.)

6. Rinse the scallops. (If you’re using regular scallops, but then in half, since they are twice the size.)

7. Heat the butter in a pan and add the scallops. Cook and toss for a minute .

8. Add the wine, shallots, chives, garlic and bell pepper. Cover the pan and let simmer for three minutes or until the scallops are just done.

9. Remove the scallops with a slotted spoon and set aside.

10. Add the basil to the liquid from the cooked scallops and put into a separate bowl.

11. Put the cream and chopped tomato into the pan and reduce over high heat buy one-half.

12. Add the reserved liquid and reduce by half again.

13. Add the pasta to this to heat through and then the scallops for just a minute.

14. Serve with freshly grated Parmesan cheese.

Recipe can serve four, but with two people you’ll have seconds (and trust me, you will.)

Sometimes infidelity can sneak up on you. It can arrive in the most innocent of packages, like a bag of  potato chips with your cock’s name on it. Such was the case the other night when Brent, my temporary roomie, showed up with a bag of chips. Dropping them on the table he says,  “These are for Cesar. From Georgia.”  

Georgia, my best galpal in Montreal, and Brent, my best boypal, work together on an American film  (“Beastly”) being shot in town, and the crafts food service that day involved a motherload of snack-sized Lays.

“I don’t get it,” I tell Brent. “What’s Gigi giving my boyfriend a bag of chips for? “For his lunch,” Brent says matter of factly.

The conspiracy deepens when I notice, on the bag, in very meticulous writing, an inscription: “To Cesar.  From Georgia.” Okay, no heart, or x’s or o’s, but still pretty darn intimate. “Lays… “ Even the name spoke of illicit acts.

When I confront Georgia about the Lays, she tells me that she didn’t write the inscription on the bag,  Brent did, as a joke. I scrutinize the letters and confirm. Yes, it’s his writing. The conspiracy lessens.  Then I ask her why she didn’t give me a bag of chips too. Didn’t I deserve a free bag too? Georgia  fumbles on this, “Well, Cesar has to go to work every day, you don’t… ”  This makes no sense to me.  “What– I freelance from home, so I don’t deserve a bag of potato chips?” Georgia shrugs, as though it’s self explanatory.   And okay, sure, I admit, somewhere deep down, I’m glad that my French Cock has found a place in my friends hearts and minds. I decide to let Georgia off the hook. What else can I do? It’s a bag of chips, not a pair of panties.

Still,  the next morning, I can’t help but notice the dreamy smile on my French cock’s face as he carefully packs the bag of chips in his knapsack (along with the healthy lunch I made him.)  He was looking forward to those Lays,  like a secret triste.

Let this story be a lesson for the single gourmand. Sometimes the way to man’s heart is through a bag of potato chips.

Georgia: I'll be keeping my eye on her.

Lover’s Lunch Treat

1 Bag of Lays

Serve bagged. With your lover’s name on it.

Rissotto is labour intenstive, involving 20 mintues of constant stirring.  Given this, you’d think it wouldn’t be off the cfc menu. Wrong!

Stirring is fun. Talk while you stir. Take a sip of wine and stir. Flirt and stir. Stirring is a great arm workout. Wear a strapless and you’re a stirring sex machine!  It’s also the perfect cock-friendly recipe for an early romantic dinner chez toi (while your eyes are on the frying pan, his eyes are on you,  loins stirring…)

Like dancing, making rissotto is a courtship ritual, with a tasty outcome. So shut up and stir.

Risotto Aphrodisio

Risotto is a groove-thing. The first few times you won’t be sure how you feel about it. Is the texture right? Too much liquid? What is this goop anyway? But then you’ll have this risotto breakthrough moment where you nail the texture (I like mine sticky vs soupy) and you won’t be able to stop making it. I made it twice this past weekend! Find your risotto groove! You won’t regret it (neither will your triceps.) The following is my standard recipe.

Ingredients

7 cups organic chicken stock (half stock/half water is also okay.)
1 cup white wine (1/2 is fine too: less in the risotto, more in your glass)
one cup Aborio rice
1 1/2 cups sliced mushrooms (button or Cremini)
1/2 cup frozen peas
1/2 cup chopped leeks
1/4 cup chopped celery (optional: I  sometimes like the sourness and texture it adds, or I mix the finely chopped celery with onion if I don’t have leeks on hand, to boost the flavour)
1/2 cup grated Parmesan or Romano
 

Directions

1. Bring stock and water to a simmer.

2. On high heat, heat oil in large deep frying pan.  Add leeks.  Stir for two minutes. Add rice, stirring to coat grains in oil. Stir for 2 minutes.

3. Add the white wine and stir until evaporated. Set timer to 22 minutes and start adding the stock, one cup at a time, stirring until liquid is evaporated.

4. With five minutes left on the timer, add peas and mushrooms.  Stir until a sticky texture is reached and the final liquid has been absorbed.

5. Turn heat off and let stand for five minutes before serving.

6. Serve into separate bowls and sprinkle with parmesan cheese. (Note, some recipes call for mixing additional cheese directly into the risotto during the final minute of cooking, but I find the flavours are so strong you only really need the cheese on top, and the diner can mix it in for themselves, as they would a pasta dish.

Serve alone or with a simple green salad on the side. It’s also a yummy side dish for grilled meat (like the Cheap and Easy Pork Chop with Lemon) or Italian sausage. Sometimes I serve a steamed veggie on the side, like asparagus or fiddleheads, for extra nutrition and fibre.